Perte de sens

La lassitude que nous ressentons souvent nous indique que nous nous sommes éloignés du sens véritable de notre vie. Nous cherchons à étouffer cette lassitude en amoncelant des objets et en apportant des changements extérieurs : changer de boulot, de maison, de voiture, de pays, divorcer, se remarier…

 

L’histoire de Marianne (FR)

 

Petite, j’étais malade. Ma première mort clinique, à l’âge de 3 ans, m’a donné une expérience intense de la réalité beaucoup plus vaste de l’autre monde et un aperçu du sens de la vie sur terre. Avant 18 ans, j’ai eu six autres expériences de mort imminente. Les mots ne suffisent pas pour vous décrire le bain d’amour inconditionnel que j’ai vécu de l’autre côté du voile à chaque EMI. On me montra un film de ma vie jusque-là avec toutes les interactions que j’avais vécues avec les autres, nos échanges d’amour et de joie, mais aussi de haine et d’hostilité. J’appris que la vie sur terre est une école pour purifier les parties de notre âme qui ne sont pas encore perméables à l’amour. Comme les médecins étaient certains que je ne survivrais pas longtemps, mes parents n’ont pas pris la peine de m’éduquer. Mon père, officier à la marine, était terriblement gêné quand je racontais mon vécu après chaque EMI. A 3 ans et demi j’ai été placée dans un sanatorium tenu par des religieuses. Mon monde s’est effondré, c’était comme un abandon car tout contact avec ma famille était interdit. On m’enleva tout ce qui m’était familier et me sécurisait : mon dialecte ostendais, mes beaux vêtements, les bonbons mis dans ma valise, mon doudou et ma tétine, mais surtout… les câlins de maman. J’ai le souvenir d’avoir arpenté les couloirs pendant un an en pleurant. Les autres enfants avaient tous plus de six ans et me rejetaient. Un seul moment positif : quand j’ai eu la coqueluche je dormais dans la chambre de la mère supérieure, elle était gentille. Elle avait une longue tresse de cheveux gris et portait une chemise de nuit en flanelle à petites fleurs et me donnait du jus de cassis. 

 

Rentrée chez moi, j’étais devenue une enfant difficile. J’avais perdu toute ma spontanéité et voulais me venger : mes parents devaient céder à tous mes caprices. Un jour, je voulais un bébé chinois, introuvable à l’époque, et quand ils m’ont donné une statuette, j’ai fait une crise de colère terrible. Quand un remède fut trouvé – je devais avoir 11 ans - j’ai enfin pu bouger plus librement. J’ai alors décidé de vivre très intensément, mais sans sagesse, sans limites et dans la provocation et me suis attirée beaucoup de problèmes, tentant de me sentir VIVANTE. Je me souviens aussi de mon désir intense de rentrer chez moi, là où règnent l’amour et la joie : la mort. J’étais douée à l’école et on me fit passer plusieurs classes, j’ai terminé ma scolarité très jeune. Très vite, mon monde me parut trop petit. J’ai déménagé à Bruxelles et à 16 ans à peine j’ai commencé à travailler dans le monde de l’entreprise. A 19 ans, je m’installais à Athènes, à 22 ans j’habitais Paris, à 25 ans aux États-Unis (Wilmington, DE), retour à Paris, et je suis enfin rentrée en Belgique à l’âge de 28 ans. Mon agitation n’était pas seulement extérieure… j’ai passé ma jeunesse à rechercher ce que j’avais expérimenté de l’autre côté du voile en devenant bouddhiste, en étudiant l’astrologie, le tarot et les runes, en parcourant des chemins initiatiques en druidisme et candomblé. Je fis une première psychanalyse à 16 ans, suivie par plusieurs autres : Lacan, Freud, Jung et une psychothérapie corporelle. Je me suis formée à la psychanalyse jungienne, la psychologie transpersonnelle et la respiration holotropique. Tout cela était enrichissant et fascinant, mais rien ne m’approcha de ce que j’avais vécu pendant mes NDE. Ma vie matérielle était chaotique: même si je gagnais très bien ma vie, je me retrouvais souvent endettée. Je n’arrivais pas à créer de relation de couple durable. J’étais devenue maman d’une adorable petite fille. Je voulais lui donner une vie stable et belle et je savais que toutes mes recherches spirituelles n’allaient pas la lui donner. J’étais arrivée à un point où j’en avais marre de toute cette lutte et je décidai d’arrêter de rechercher le monde spirituel sur terre ! J’ai pensé que si ma connexion spirituelle ne servait pas à ma vie sur terre, j’abandonnerais tout. En colère, je fis un bras d’honneur au monde spirituel, je me souviens de ce moment comme si c’était hier ! J’étais profondément déçue parce que je sentais qu’on m’avait fait une promesse là-haut. J’avais toujours espéré que les choses viennent d’en haut, de la source éternelle d’amour et d’abondance dont je me souvenais de mes EMI. Rien ne vint ! Le plafond restait en place ! Il n’y avait pas moyen de remonter. Il devenait évident pour moi que j’avais utilisé la spiritualité pour fuir et embellir la vie sur terre que je trouvais trop grossière en comparaison… Je décidai donc enfin me contenter de ce qu’il y avait. Alors que j’avais toujours refusé de me servir de mes 7 langues comme atout professionnel parce que je voulais faire un travail plus noble, j’ai cédé, abandonnant ce qui m’intéressait le plus : la spiritualité et la psychologie. Je me suis résignée à vivre une vie que je projetais morne, ordinaire et grise et j’ai passé un concours pour être fonctionnaire européen. J’ai accepté la vie sur terre, avec toutes les limitations qu’elle impose, celle de devoir travailler pour gagner ma vie, de me contenter de la dualité, bref, je devais apprendre à vivre avec ce qui est plutôt qu’espérer ce qui pourrait être. 

 

C’est à ce moment-là que les synchronicités se sont mises à pleuvoir, comme si la dimension spirituelle voulait m’impressionner avec son pouvoir sur le monde matériel. Lors d’un soin énergétique, je me suis enfin sentie connectée à la terre et le praticien me fit un cadeau extraordinaire en me donnant les conférences du Pathwork. La cartographie de la psyché humaine qui y était décrite correspondait parfaitement à ce que j’avais aperçu de l’autre côté du voile. J’entrepris mon chemin de transformation à l’aide de ces conférences (j’en ai traduit une centaine avec lien) et arrêtai de justifier mes propres attitudes négatives par la négativité des autres. Je me suis concentrée sur ce que je voulais manifester, confrontant et traversant chemin faisant tous les obstacles que j’avais moi-même créés. En voulant bien regarder ce dont j’avais l’habitude de détourner le regard, je les retrouvai dans mes émotions de tous les jours : mes croyances erronées, mes peurs, mon sentiment d’inadéquation, tous alignés sur le manque, le vide, la disharmonie et la dualité, tout ce que j’avais connu pendant mon enfance. A partir de là, ma vie est devenue une chasse au trésor. Progressivement, chaque problème étant devenu le point de départ d’une nouvelle libération, je n’en avais plus peur. Je ne vibrais plus les problèmes et ils ont arrêté de venir vers moi. Tout ce que j’avais à faire c’était de grandir, bouger, et changer d’avis sur ce qui en moi n’était pas encore perméable à l’amour, en étant le témoin neutre et bienveillant de mon expérience émotionnelle. C’était il y a 23 ans. J’ai quitté les institutions européennes après sept ans de service pour des raisons de santé, tout en gardant mes avantages. 

 

Depuis lors, j’ai donné naissance à une méthode pour libérer notre essence spirituelle et la vivre au quotidien : « le Troisième Pôle ». C’est un chemin de transformation spirituel tout en étant très terre à terre. Il révèle à quel point nous sommes puissants, capables de créer la vie que nous voulons vivre, tant que nous sommes prêts à regarder tout ce qui est vrai à notre sujet : le positif comme le négatif. En nous demandant « Pourquoi ai-je besoin de cette souffrance ? », nous sommes sur la bonne piste. Parce que notre noyau divin est déjà parfait, il n’a jamais été blessé, jamais humilié, il n’a jamais connu de manque, de solitude, de séparation. Nous pouvons puiser à sa source au fond de nous.  Avec cette méthode, nous pouvons guérir la souffrance de l’enfance et changer d’avis sur les défenses que nous avons érigées pour nous en protéger, car elles maintiennent vos blessures ouvertes et font du mal aux autres. En accédant à notre noyau divin à travers nos blessures, nous trouvons notre mission de vie, le don unique que nous sommes venus apporter. Si nous ne le libérons pas, le monde devra s’en passer. Depuis 2002, je canalise une entité spirituelle, le Guide, qui nous accompagne avec des conseils faciles à mettre en pratique pour oser notre véritable envergure : plus de 3000 pages d’enseignement se sont accumulées. J’ai le privilège d’aider de nombreuses personnes à retrouver le fil rouge de leur noyau divin, en donnant des conférences et des stages en Belgique et en France et depuis peu également des formations en ligne. J’ai créé un jeu d’oracle « le Divin au Quotidien » et écrit un livre, « Accueillons notre Imperfection ». Je travaille avec l’équipe d’accompagnants que j’ai formés à ma méthode. Avec ma famille, nous vivons dans une ancienne graineterie à la campagne. Nous y avons créé un centre polyvalent qui s’appelle « Autre Porte », une autre porte vers le plaisir et la croissance. Cela fait 20 ans que je suis en couple avec mon mari, Emilien Sanou, musicien, compositeur et professeur de rythme de grand talent. Il est originaire du Burkina Faso et nous avons travaillé dur pour construire notre couple, venant de mondes différents dans tous les sens du terme.   Mais nous avons réussi à construire un couple basé sur l’amour et le respect. Aller vers l’union plutôt que la fusion a été un chemin dans le chemin. Nous avons une grande famille merveilleuse, 5 enfants à nous deux et 4 petits enfants. Et nous travaillons ensemble. Emilien assure l’enracinement dans les activités du Troisième Pôle en jouant le balafon lors des méditation guidées et nous aide à retrouver notre puissance par le jeu des percussions lors des stages. En 2007, nous avons créé un projet social au Burkina Faso, l’association Etoile Polaire. Nous parrainons la scolarité d’environ 300 enfants chaque année depuis lors. Je n’avais aucune idée que tout était déjà en moi. Ce que je pensais devoir quémander à un dieu sur son nuage se trouve ici, au fond de moi. Tout se trouve en vous également, prêt à émerger de la merveilleuse source de votre noyau divin. 

 

 

 

 

 

Marianne’s story (EN)

 

I was a very sick child and a strange one at that. My first clinical death, age 3, gave me an intense experience of the other world and the purpose of life on earth. Before I was 18, I had six more NDE’s. During each NDE I experienced such unconditional love, it defies description. But I learnt that truth is love. Each time I was shown a film of the life I had lived so far, all the interactions with people around me and how we had exchanged joy and love but also hatred and hostility. I learnt that life on earth was a school to purify the parts in our soul that are not yet permeable to the laws of the universe: all things positive without the negative opposite we know on earth.

 

As doctors were sure I wouldn’t live long, my parents did not bother educating me. My father, who was an officer in the navy, felt terribly embarrassed by whatever I shared after each NDE.

 

At 3,5 years old I was put in a sanatorium held by Catholic nuns to heal. It felt like I had lost my parents, as all contact with them was forbidden. I was stripped of everything that I felt to be me: my language (I’m from Ostend), my nice clothes, the sweets my mother lovingly packed for me, my mom’s hugs and kisses, my pacifier and my blankie. The other children were older than 6. I remember roaming the corridors crying for a full year.

After that I became a very difficult child. I had lost all spontaneity and was out for revenge: my parents had to accommodate all my whims and desires.

 

When I was about 12, a remedy was found and I could finally move about more freely. I decided to live very intensely, if not wisely. I got into a lot of trouble, trying to feel ALIVE. I remember all my childhood longing to go back home, the place of endless love and joy: death.

 

I was bright at school and finished my studies early. Soon my world seemed too small for me: I moved to Brussels and started to work in the corporate world when I was 16. That experience was too small for me too, at 19 I moved to Greece, and at 22 to Paris, then the States at 25, back to Paris and finally back to Belgium at age 28.

 

My restlessness was not just external, I spent my young life searching for what I had experienced on the other side of the veil: I became a Buddhist, studied astrology, tarot, runes, went on shamanic initiatory paths in Druidry and Candomblé and had my first psychoanalysis at 16, followed by several more: Lacan, Freud and Jung and body psychotherapy. I studied Jungian psychoanalysis and holotropic breathwork. Though fascinating, none of these experiences brought me close to what I had known.

 

My material life was a mess: though I made a very decent living I kept getting myself into debt and wasn’t able to stay in a relationship. I was a single mom by then to a lovely baby who was born by miracle as I used several birth control methods! Her birth father did not wish to get involved. I wanted to give her a stable and beautiful life and I knew all my spiritual endeavors weren’t going to give her that.

 

At that point I was really fed up with all the struggle and decided to stop looking for the spiritual world on earth! I thought : if my spiritual connection is not going to serve my life here, then I’m giving it up. I remember that moment as if it was yesterday. I felt deeply disappointed by the promise I felt had been made to me. I was hoping things would come from above, from the eternal source of love and abundance that I remembered from my NDE’s. They didn’t. The ceiling staid put! There was no way back up. I realised at that point I had been using spirituality to escape and to embellish life on earth.

 

Now I decided I would settle for what was available. I spoke many languages, but refused to use them as an asset. Giving up what I wanted most, spirituality and self-development, I settled for what I thought was going to be a dreary life, and passed a competition as a European civil servant. I finally accepted the limits of earthly life, with all its prosaic bleakness, working for money, settling for duality, negotiating relationships with others: learning to live with what is as opposed to hoping for what should be.

 

That’s when the synchronicities started happening, incredible ones, as if the spiritual dimension wanted to impress me with its power over the material world. I had an energy healing with Ron Bedrick, a healer from Barbara Brennan’s school for healing who was briefly in Brussels. For the very first time my first chakra was open and I really felt I belonged on earth. Ron gave me the most precious gift on earth: the Pathwork lectures.

 

I finally stopped buying my own story and concentrated on what I wanted to manifest, challenging along the way all my self-created obstacles which were buried in my subconscious mind. If I was willing to look at what I used to turn my head away from, there they were, right in my emotions: my misconceptions, fears and feelings of being not good enough. All were aligned to a life of lack, of separation and duality, things I knew during childhood.

 

From that point onwards, life became a treasure hunt. With time, as each problem became the starting point for a new liberation I stopped dreading them. And since I was no longer vibrating “problems” they stopped coming to me. All I need to do is grow and move and change my mind about whatever is not aligned to divine law within myself, by being the neutral observer of my emotional life.

 

This was 23 years ago. I quit European civil service after seven years for health reasons, but kept all my benefits. Since then I have given form to this “how to” manual for life on earth in the form of a method to claim our divine essence and make it our daily experience. It’s called Le Troisième  Pôle. I channel the Guide, more than 3000 pages so far. I am thrilled and grateful to be able to help many spiritual seekers discover how they create their lives. I do this by giving lectures, workshops and intensives in Belgium and France. I have edited an oracle card deck, called “daily divine” based on the Guide’s quotes. I’ve written a book « Embracing our imperfection », the first of a series called “vie: mode d’emploi ».

 

I train and supervise helpers who work with my method in individual and group sessions.

 

We live in a beautiful ancient grain storage building in the countryside. We have created a multifunctional center called “Autre Porte”, another door to pleasure and growth. With the helpers I trained, we have created a community here, we all live in a 10 km range from our center and work together often. Since 2004 I organize each year a group trip to high vibration places around the world. This year we’re going to aboriginal Québec.

 

On a personal level, I have been with my gorgeous husband Emilien for 20 years. He is from Burkina Faso and we sure had a challenge to make this work, as we came from different worlds in every possible way. But we did, and moving towards true union, as opposed to fusion, was a path in the path. We have a beautiful family. And my husband works with me. His presence and his music assure the grounding in our activities, as grounding is essential when you work with higher consciousness.

 

In 2007 we created a social project in Burkina Faso. It’s called Etoile Polaire, we offer scholarships to 297 children this year.

 

I had no idea I already had it in me. What I thought I had to ask from the old God figure on his cloud is actually sitting right inside me. It is sitting right inside you, waiting for you to tap into it: your glorious divine being. We are all here to change this world for the better, each of us bringing a unique contribution. But we have to get it out of its wrapping paper: the childhood pain and the defenses we built to avoid it.

 

This path is immensely spiritual and also very earthy ! It reveals how powerful we are to build our lives according to our wishes, as long as we are willing to look at everything that’s true about ourselves, positive or negative.

 

We received the blueprint for this life on earth during childhood. When we start thinking “why did I need this pain”, we’re on the right track. Because our higher self is already perfect, it has never been hurt, never been humiliated, it has never known lack or loneliness or separation, because we are godseeds. When we discover why we need our problems, we find our true power.

 

With this method you can address the childhood pain and the defenses you have created to protect you from it. Changing your mind about the defenses is why you are here. They keep your wounds open and hurt others.

 

And from within the “download” you will find the mission, the unique gift you have for life. If you don’t deliver it, life will have to do without it. And that would be such a shame.

Marianne's story  (EN)

 

I was a very sick child and a strange one at that. My first clinical death, age 3, gave me an intense experience of the other world and a glimpse of the purpose of life on earth. Before I turned 18, I had six more NDE’s. During each NDE I experienced such unconditional love, it defies description. Each time I was shown a film of the life I had lived so far, all the interactions with people around me and how we had exchanged joy and love but also hatred and hostility. I learnt that life on earth was a school to purify the parts in our soul that are not yet permeable to love. As doctors were sure I wouldn’t live long, my parents did not bother educating me. My father, who was an officer in the navy military, felt terribly embarrassed by whatever I shared after each NDE. At 3,5 years old I was put in a sanatorium held by Catholic nuns. My world collapsed: it felt like I had been abandoned, as any contact with my parents was forbidden. I was stripped of everything that I felt to be me and made me feel safe: my dialect  (I’m from Ostend), my beautiful clothes, the sweets packed in my suitcase, my pacifier and my Teddy, but most importantly… my mom’s hugs and kisses. I remember roaming the corridors wailing for a full year. The other children were older than 6 and rejected me. A nice moment was when I got to sleep in Mother Superior’s room when I had the whooping cough, she was very friendly. I remember her long grey braid and her flannel nightgown and the blackcurrant juice she gave me. 

 

Back home, I became a very difficult child. I had lost all spontaneity and was out for revenge: my parents had to accommodate all my whims and desires. I remember wanting a Chinese baby doll, which was impossible to find those days and my terrible tantrum when they gave me a statuette. 

 

When I was about 12, a remedy was found, and I could finally move about more freely. I decided to live very intensely, if not wisely. Having no boundaries and I got into a lot of trouble, trying to feel ALIVE. But I also remember my intense longing to go back home, the place of endless love and joy: death. I was bright at school, skipped several years and finished my schooling early. Soon my world seemed too small for me: I moved to Brussels and started to work in the corporate world when I was 16. At 19 I moved to Greece, and at 22 I was living  in  Paris, then the States (Wilmington, DE) at 25, back to Paris and finally back in Belgium at age 28. My inner life was restless too. I spent my young life searching for what I had experienced on the other side of the veil: I became a Buddhist, studied astrology, tarot, runes, went on shamanic initiatory paths in Druidry and Candomblé and had my first psychoanalysis at 16, followed by several more: Lacan, Freud and Jung and body psychotherapy. I studied Jungian psychoanalysis and holotropic breathwork. Though fascinating, none of these experiences brought me close to what I had known. 

 

My material life was a mess: though I made a very decent living I kept getting myself into debt and wasn’t able to stay in a relationship. I was a single mom by then to a lovely baby girl. I wanted to give her a stable and beautiful life and I knew all my spiritual endeavors weren’t going to give her that. At that point I was really fed up with all the struggle and decided to stop looking for the spiritual world on earth! If my spiritual connection wasn’t going to serve my life here, I’d give it up. Angry, I gave the spiritual world the finger, I remember that moment as if it were yesterday. I felt deeply disappointed by the promise I felt had been made to me. I was hoping things would come from above, from the eternal source of love and abundance that I remembered from my NDE’s. They didn’t. The ceiling staid put! There was no way back up. At that point I realized I had been using spirituality to escape and to embellish life on earth. I gave up, and finally decided to settle for what was available. Having always refused to use the seven languages I speak as a professional asset as I wanted to have a nobler job, I gave up the fields which interested me most. I settled for what I thought was going to be a dreary life, and passed a competition to be a European civil servant. I finally accepted the limits of earthly life, with all its prosaic bleakness, working for money and settling for duality: learning to live with what is as opposed to hoping for what should be. 

 

That’s when the synchronicities started happening, incredible ones, as if the spiritual dimension wanted to impress me with its power over the material world. During an energy healing, at last I felt connected to earth and the healer gave me a precious gift: the Pathwork lectures.  The chart of the human psyche described in the lectures was a perfect match to what I glimpsed on the other side of the veil. Using them, I set out on my transformational journey which I translated into French. You can find them on . I finally stopped buying my own story and excusing my negativity by the negativity of others. I focused on what I wanted to manifest, challenging along the way all my self-created obstacles. If I was willing to look at what I used to look away from, there they were, right in my day-to-day emotions: my misconceptions, fears and feelings of being not good enough, all based on lack, separation, disharmony and duality, elements I knew too well from childhood. From that point onwards, life became a treasure hunt. With time, as each problem became the starting point for a new liberation, I stopped dreading them. And since I was no longer vibrating “problems” they stopped coming to me. All I need to do is grow and move and change my mind about whatever is not aligned with divine law within myself, by being the neutral observer of my emotional life. This was 23 years ago. I quit European civil service after seven years for health reasons but kept all my benefits. 

 

Since then I created this “how to” manual to claim our divine essence and make it our daily experience, called Le Troisième Pôle. It’s a down to earth spiritual transformational path that reveals how powerful we are. We can create the life we want to live as long as we’re willing to confront whatever is true about ourselves: positive or negative. When we wonder “why do I need this pain?” we’re on the right track. Our godself is already perfect, it has never been wounded, humiliated, it has never known lack, loneliness or separation. We can draw from our source within. This method allows us to heal our childhood suffering and change our mind about the defense mechanisms we use to avoid the pain, which keep our wounds open and hurt others.  By accessing our divine self through our hurts, we find our life task, the unique gift we bring to the world. If we do not set it free; the world will have to do without. 

 

Since 2002 I have been channeling a spiritual entity known as the Guide., who helps us on our path with practical advice to daringly live as our Higher selves: more than 3000 pages of material has been channeled so far. I have the privilege to help hundreds of people to find the red thread of their divine self. I give lectures, workshops and intensives in Belgium and France and recently started working online. I created an oracle card deck, called “Daily Divine” and written a book « Embracing our imperfection ». I work with the team of helpers I have trained 

 

My family and I live in a beautiful historical building in the countryside. We have created a multifunctional center called “Autre Porte”, another door to pleasure and growth. I have been with my gorgeous husband Emilien Sanou for 20 years, a talented musician, composer and rhythm teacher from Burkina Faso. We worked hard to make our couple work, being from different worlds in every possible way. But we created a beautiful couple based on love and mutual respect. Moving towards true union, as opposed to fusion, was a path within our paths. We have a wonderful family, 5 children and 4 grandchildren so far. And we work together. He plays the balafon during the guided meditations and helps us ground by playing the drums in our t-intensives. In 2007 we created a social project in Burkina Faso, called Etoile Polaire and we offer scholarships to over 300 children each year since then. 

 

I had no idea I already had everything I was looking for inside me. What I thought I had to ask from the old God figure on his cloud is actually sitting right inside me. It is sitting right inside you, waiting for you to tap into it: your glorious divine being. 

 

 

Le Troisième Pôle